Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Pitchmas You can't HANDLE the truth!

First of all, I want this as clear as clear can be.

*This is completely VOLUNTARY. If you choose to submit to this, expect the truth. Maybe your pitch was one that got to yes but Jessa and I just couldn't agree on it being top 55. But maybe your pitch read more like a synopsis. Maybe your genre is a super tough sell. Maybe your pitch was just confusing.

BE PREPARED FOR BAD NEWS, but look at it as an opportunity for improvement.

*Jessa is NOT doing this. If your Unique Snowflake Feelings get hurt, take a deep breath and calm down. But don't direct any snark at Jessa, since this is my idea.

*This is completely CONFIDENTIAL. I won't be posting the results online. I won't be telling anyone about your pitch online. If you choose to talk about why your pitch wasn't chosen, that's up to you.

*This is NOT a pitch workshop. While I want to help you, 609 of you entered. 55 got to YES. If even HALF of you wanted to participate in this, that's a nightmare with the current writing deadlines and Christmas shenanigans in my life ATM. This is only going to be about the reason your pitch wasn't chosen. MAYBE you can take the reason and improve based on that, but I'm not looking to start open dialogues back and forth about how to fix your pitch.

*This is FREE. No one will be charged for this. I do, however, offer query critiques for $25 a pop. I got to yes on Query Shark once upon a time, and have a pretty good eye for these. You are under NO obligation to go for this, but for those interested in my editorial services, they can be found here though sometimes I give away query crits on my twitter and facebook pages for free, so if that's your jam, follow along and keep an eye out for those.

*These are my opinions. Opinions are subjective. If you can't take criticism, you, my darling, are in the wrong industry. I'm doing this as a favour to you because I GENUINELY want to help you, NOT because I'm an asshole who wants to hurt your feelings. Separate your feelings from your work.

*If there's any direct or indirect butthurt behavior in private or online, know that I understand how it feels. Disagreement with my opinions are fine, BUT any outright abuse WILL be posted online. :) Don't be an author behaving badly or I will showcase that behavior for everyone to see, if you haven't already done that for yourself. (I honestly can't foresee this happening, but I wanted you to be aware that I don't tolerate bullshit from people. I'm too old and curmudgeonly. GET OFF MY LAWN!)

Now. *rubs hands together* For the ACTUAL reason we're here.

IF this is something that still appeals to you after reading the above (and IF you enter you are agreeing to all of the above) then here's what you do:


Submission window: Friday December 19th 6PM EST- Saturday December 20th 3PM EST

email pitchmas@gmail.com

SUBJECT LINE: Feaky, I can handle the truth!


1. Your title
2. Your genre
3. Your word count
4. Your category and genre
5. The pitch you submitted to pitchmas.

I will go through and email you back the reason why I didn't choose your pitch for the blog. Maybe I did but Jessa said no! Maybe Jessa said yes but I didn't like it. In either of those cases, the answer will just be that Jessa and I couldn't agree on the pitch, I won't say WHO was yes and WHO was no because that's not fair to Jessa or I and we're a team.

45/55 blog pitches got requests, some as many as 6. But 10 got NO love despite us loving them. That shows how subjective it is. But behind the scenes, Jessa and I were battling it out amongst ourselves. There were a couple pitches we didn't love but we knew were good and would get requests, and lo and behold THEY DID.

Can you handle the truth? If so, email me.

Again: Submission window: Friday December 19th 6PM EST- Saturday December 20th 3PM EST


  1. My pitch did get chosen and I was very flattered. Unfortunately the love ended there. *weeps*

    I can't tell you how much your efforts are appreciated. Y'all are great. *sending drinks*


  2. Are you going to be doing this again this Christmas? Thanks!

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