Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Need a bit more pitch-honing help for Friday's Twitter event? More peer critique!

We thought you might want a bit more peer critique for those Twitter pitches!! Use the comment section below to post your Twitter pitches and help one another hone them into lean, mean, agent/editor-catching machines! 

***Don't forget that tomorrow's blog post pitches will be off-limits for commenting UNLESS you are an agent or editor making a request.*** 


Whether or not you are chosen as part of the Top 50 blog pitches, please join us for the Twitter Pitch Party on Friday, December 18thThis will go on *all day long*, and agents/editors will respond to or favorite the pitches they want to request. We know that *all day* is not an exact time-frame, but judge's schedules don't always allow for rigidity near the holidays. Tweet when you wake up. It ends when people are done making requests. Sometimes they come back a few times. 
Sometimes they come back the next day.

Remember that your pitch MUST contain the hashtag (#PitchMAS) and if you can squeeze in a hashtag with category or genre, that's great too, but don't sweat it if you can't. 

Here are a couple examples of tweets I (Jessa) used in #SFFPit and #PitMAd last year. Both versions received requests, and I eventually found my agent and a contract with REUTS for this book through these connections. 

My point is... 
Contests WORK. 
Twitter pitching WORKS. 
Just keep pitching. 

Biblical rain? Check.
ARK of "dreams"? So they say.
40 days with reluctant "mate"? No thanks.
Repopulate the new world? HELL NO.

Part of a select few aboard the ARK, 20yos Ana & Marco have 40days& 40nights to change their fate or become breeders.
#AdPit
NA NoahREDUX



49 comments:

  1. Here's mine. I had to trim it more to allow it to include a genre and pitchmas hashtag. Hopefully it still works.

    Reincarnation is worse than the god bent on killing her. If Sae can’t uncover past memories, this life could be her last #ya #sff #pitchmas

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    Replies
    1. There are a lot of amnesiac reincarnate stories out there, and although the stakes and conflict are pretty clear, it's so familiar that it needs something more, something specific to your story for it to stand out. Any unique aspect to the protagonist/world would help - unusual occupation, reason for memory loss, connection of the god to the girl.

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  2. Twitter pitch:

    Eden’s fight for Miss Universe could win her a crown – or destroy a galaxy on the brink of war. THE SELECTION + CINDER. #YA #SF #PitchMAS

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    Replies
    1. I don't really have anything to say. It's solid and grabs my attention.

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    2. I'm with the PP this is really good, I would read the heck out of it.

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  3. When a defunct theme park becomes a homeless camp, a boy tries fixing the roller coaster before the city evicts them. #pitchmas #mg

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    Replies
    1. I like the concept! I would use a stronger verb than "tries fixing."

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    2. I agree - "tries fixing" should be swapped out for "must fix," though it still makes me wonder what fixing the roller coaster has to do with saving the park/camp.

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    3. I don't really understand why he needs to fix the roller coaster, and fix is less than inspiring. That said, I love the homeless camp concept.

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    4. Ditto V.E. Hust. I see endless opportunities for memorable imagery in a theme-park-turned-homeless-camp.
      Is it because they can stay if they get the park running or something?

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    5. What about...

      When a defunct theme park becomes a homeless camp, a boy must restore the rides to working order, or the city will evict them. #pitchmas #mg

      Exactly 140 characters!

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  4. I am going to be pitching two different picture books. Here are my pitches. Any feedback would be appreciated!

    Finn is a lonely shark, looking for a friend. Sea creatures are too afraid. How about a human? What could possibly go wrong? #PitchMAS #PB

    Pixie the curious cat sneaks outside for an adventure. But when exploding thunder arrives, will she ever see her family again? #PitchMAS #PB

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    Replies
    1. I love the Pixie idea, I would buy that for the little Hust is a second.

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    2. I love the shark one, though you could streamline the first sentence to something like "Finn the lonely shark wants a friend."

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  5. I have two pitches for the twitter party so far.

    17yo Adeline lived in hell for years as Subject 368489. Now she’s ready to write her future, starting with ending her jailer #YA #SF

    and

    When a soup kitchen chef/black ops agent offers to help Adeline, a 1/2 alien, stop a mad man, she's not expecting the L word #YA #OP

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    Replies
    1. The first one was confusing for me. I'm not sure what's being used literally - like is she actually in hell, or is life just hellish? "Write her future" kind of threw me off. Is getting out of hell the conflict?
      The second one gave lots of intriguing detail to set it apart - soup kitchen chef/black ops agent?! Sounds fantastic!

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  6. Introvert badass Kit must stop fanatic intent on "cleansing" city of unmagical. Assassin's Creed x Avatar, but with #ya girl. #pitchmas

    or

    Bioluminescent rooftops. Thieves. Assassins. nbd. It's falling for the enemy that might kill her. Legend x Assassin's Creed

    Thoughts?

    Best of luck to everyone!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love the first pitch - it has great unique elements and stakes. I'm usually wary of non-book properties as comparative media, but I think it works in this case.

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  8. Twitter pitch:

    1: Born addicts to power, Warlocks are as strong as ancient gods. When they wage war with humans, Jason must risk all to save Venessa.#PitchMAS (140 characters)

    2. Venessa didn't believe in anything supernatural, until she met Jason—the guy that ruined her life the moment he stepped into it.#PitchMAS (138 characters)

    3. Warlocks are forever locked in wars. When Venessa meets Jason she must pick a side— the fate of the planet rests in the balance.#Pitchmas (137 characters)

    What do you guys think?

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    Replies
    1. Hi, I liked the first one, your story sounds so interesting! Good luck!

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    2. I like the third--mainly the second sentence.

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    3. And the second one made me giggle. I think you've got a solid start here. Good luck!

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  9. Thanks, ahead of time! Four pitches for Friday:

    5 truths for Fin: Camelot is real; his folks ruined it; he can fix it; he may lose his wife if he does; his child if he doesn’t #Pitchmas #F

    Fin is stunned to learn his parents caused the fall of the fabled Camelot. A magical door gives him the chance to fix things #Pitchmas #F

    Viv is the love of Fin’s life, but when he finds a fabled land, he risks losing her to a very real war. CAMELOT meets NARNIA #Pitchmas #F

    Camelot’s real & Fin’s folks caused its ruin. If he restores it, he may lose his love. If he doesn’t, their child will suffer #Pitchmas #F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the first one most by a landslide, but not a fan of the first clause. Maybe something like "Camelot is real, and Fin's folks ruined it. He . . " etc
      Sounds like a fun idea, and what fantastic stakes!

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    2. Agreed, first is best, and you don't need the 5 truths bit. Good luck!

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  10. Hi guys! I'm trying my hand at this. Here are my three possibilities for Twitter pitches for my YA realistic fiction novel:

    Vanessa didn’t know she was going to have to play The Game. Now she’s trying to convince everyone that what happened in freshman year doesn’t matter… mostly herself.

    Vanessa’s fine. What happened with Rene doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t matter that she transferred schools. As long as she believes that, she won’t have to remember.

    There’s Before and After, and the rest doesn’t matter. That’s what Vanessa’s going to keep telling herself, so she doesn’t have to remember what happened last year.

    Thanks for any suggestions you might have for me! :)

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    Replies
    1. The stakes aren't high enough. So far, all I know is that Vanessa doesn't want to remember, and for a reader that is too vague. Give some more specifics and raise the stakes!

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  11. I like the first one, The Game really stood out for me. The other two seemed too bland, but I don't read contemporary, so take it with a grain of salt.

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  12. Tweaked the wording to hopefully make it not appear like an amnesiac story. Had to sacrifice the genre tag.

    Reincarnation is worse than the god hunting her. If Sae can’t uncover her past life’s memories, this life could be her last #ya #pitchmas

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'll do my best to check in and talk with some of you throughout the day....so here's one idea I have. Adult/Women's fiction

    After overcoming the tragic death of her friend, JACKIE reunites with high school friends, and they all discover love in unexpected places.

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  14. Here are mine. I think they are better than my 35 word pitch. For New Adult/Contemporary Romance:

    Rev Tammy falls in love with an atheist. When crisis strikes, will he change, or will she bend? #pitchmas #na #romance #contemporary

    Clergywoman’s gay best friend is engaged. His fiancé’s brother, an atheist, falls for her. Will she bend or break? #pitchmas #na #romance

    Clergywoman haunted by past tragedy & bad dates falls for atheist. Will he change or will she bend? #pitchmas #na #romance #contemporary

    Rev Tammy goes camping, falls for gay best friend’s fiancé’s brother, an atheist. Will she bend or be broken? #pitchmas #na #romance

    Professional & personal boundaries bend when Rev Tammy falls for an atheist. Will a past tragedy cause her to break? #pitchmas #na #romance

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  16. Here's mine: Adult, Women's Fiction

    Rafi’s singing causes discord but she yearns to sing and travels west. Can her daughter later solve her dementia thru same music? #PitchMAS

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  17. Question: If our 35 word pitch wasn't chosen, we can still pitch on Twitter? If so, here is one; I'd appreciate feedback. Thanks!

    Maya’s built a life pleasing others. Now her world is unraveling. Family, lover, freedom? It’s time to choose for herself. #PitchMAS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1: yes, you can pitch tomorrow! Anyone can!
      2: I like it, but the grammar of "Maya's built..." throws me off. Instead, "Maya has built a life by pleasing others." You should still be in your 140 character limit. Good luck!

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    3. Sorry, if you are wondering who replied, that was me. I was logged in for work so it wasn't giving the correct ID. :)

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    4. Got it, I just had to remove one of the hashtags. Thanks, Mindi! How's this: Maya has built a life pleasing others. Now her world is unraveling. Family, lover, freedom? It’s time to choose for herself.

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  18. Question: If our 35 word pitch wasn't chosen, we can still pitch on Twitter? If so, here is one; I'd appreciate feedback. Thanks!

    Maya’s built a life pleasing others. Now her world is unraveling. Family, lover, freedom? It’s time to choose for herself. #PitchMAS

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  19. Thanks for the feedback! I had tried Maya has built a life by pleasing others (part of my 35 word pitch, word for word :-) ) but it was too long... I'll try again. Thanks!

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  20. I changed this one, but still not sure about it:

    When war-hero pilot discovers his alien rulers destroyed Earth's civilizations, he has no choice but to start a rebellion. #PitchMAS

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  21. This is the other tweet I'm playing with. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

    As Maya aims a jar of capers at her husband's head she realizes things need 2 change. Family, Lover, Freedom? Choices must be made #PitchMAS

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    Replies
    1. I'm actually a little confused by the pitch. What 2 things? Is she making a choice between her family, her lover (and if not her husband, then who, cause that's interesting), and freedom (freedom of what? To choose her own destiny of who she loves?) Basically, what's preventing her from having it all.

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    2. Thanks Kimberly. I used "2" instead of "to" to save the 1 character I needed. I appreciate your feedback... still working on them!

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  22. Okay, tossing in my top 3 favs:

    Headstrong Andrew discovers he can control plants. Now, he must save the world from a man with powers identical to his. #PitchMas #YA #SF

    A new Keeper of plants rises, but the former still lives. Earth has made its decision. Can either of them live with it? #PitchMAS #SF #YA

    Headstrong Andrew has the power to control plants, gifted to him by Earth. Imagine if Luke Skywalker was a botanist. #PitchMAS #SF #YA

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    Replies
    1. Love the first and third! This is definitely a book I would read! Good luck tomorrow!

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    2. I like the 1st and 3rd also. Good luck!

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